Words like divorce, separation, or custody can be daggers to your children. You should consider handling this situation with all the help you can get, including your family, family attorney, and even the following guide. The following are a few signs that may reveal your child is not taking your separation well.
Feelings Stirred By Separation
The following are just some of the things that your child or children may be feeling regarding this drastic change:
Your child or children might feel these emotions at varying degrees, which could muster up all kinds of reactions. So it is important to be understanding of your children's feelings at this time.
Your Child Is Not Talking
One reaction to divorce is that your child or children will stop talking to you, your ex-partner, or both. This reaction is likely related to anger, as the child or children blame one or both parents for the separation. The anger could also be rooted in the child's or children's misinterpretation of the separation as a direct betrayal.
Of course, anger could manifest itself more aggressively, but anger-related reactions can be aided with the tips below:
- Do your best to talk with your children and stay involved. Show that you are there, even if you are not welcomed.
- Try to ask your child or children to open up about their feelings regarding the separation.
- Make sure that, just like you, your ex-partner stays involved.
- A big mistake would be to try to blame the other parent to try to restore communication. Let your child's or children's anger ride out, and be patient.
You can talk to your family lawyer about additional help, as he or she has gone through these types of situations before and may be able to recommend a counselor.
Gap-Filling Might Occur
Another manifestation that you may have to be prepared for is your child's or children's urge to fill the gap that is left behind by the separation. The following are just some of the gap-filling manifestations that you might witness:
- Your offspring might take sides.
- The child or children may begin to take the role of the missing parent, and may even take on some of the characteristics.
- Your child or children might start to form secret bonds with the other parent or you. This is to prevent the other parent from feeling like he or she was betrayed.
All of these reactions may hinder your child or children's development, and you should find a way to address them. So as mentioned above, ask your child or children to communicate what they are feeling, and be open to their responses. Resist taking sides, in fact, make a exuberant effort to become a one parenting unit with your ex-partner. And remember to ask your lawyer for a good family mental health professional should these issues persist or worsen over months.
Talk to a legal professional like Timothy L Hitchings to learn more.